I could blow up the whole goddamn world with this thing.

Title: Standard Generative Phonology
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Cas
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor, fluff
Summary: Cas wants Sam to stop saying his name wrong.
Warnings: Anal retentiveness.
Word Count: ~500
Notes: OH GOD WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN. I was watching The Song Remains the Same and thinking SAM STOPPING SAYING CAS' NAME LIKE THAT because I'm a pronunciation whore. Just ask eumonigy. So this is the illegitimate spawn of that.



Cas heaves a put upon sigh and tries again. “Castiel,” he says carefully.

“Castiel,” Sam repeats.

“No,” Cas admonishes like a school teacher to a slow student. “You are saying it wrong.”

“What?” Sam breathes incredulously. Dean tries to stifle his amusement and pretend that he's still focused on the TV. “I said it exactly like you did.”

“No,” Cas says again, sounding exasperated. “You are enunciating it wrong. Say it again.”

“Castiel.”

Sam cowers a little bit under Cas' responding glare. Cas disappears in a flutter of wingbeats.

Dean bursts out laughing from his side of the room and Sam just asks, “What the hell?”

Sam thinks the matter is ended with that, but it comes up again. During a hunt.

The demon they're hunting is pressing Cas up to the wall by his throat and Sam let's out a worried, “Castiel!”

Cas responds by glaring down at him. Sam cringes as Dean takes the demon out. Cas is on his feet and at Sam's throat in seconds. “You. Are. Saying. It. Wrong.”

Sam just stares dumbfounded as Cas walks huffily away.

“Okay,” Sam says as he plops down across the table from where Cas is thumbing through an old book. “Teach me how to say it.”

Cas doesn't look up as he enunciates, “Cas·ti·el.”

“Castiel,” Sam tries. Cas slams his book shut and starts trying to kill Sam with his eyes. "Okay, okay! Just... Say it again."

"CAS. TI. EL." Cas' voice has turned gravely and self-righteous. "Castiel."

"Castiel?" Sam says.

Cas' whole face lights up at that, his lips beginning to tug up in a smile.

Sam can't help but feel proud of him self and he says it again. "Castiel."

Cas' face drops back down and he leaves the room. There are some moderately distressing noises before he re-enters.

This time Dean walks in with him and says, in the smuggest voice Sam has ever heard, "What's up, Sam? Castiel?"

Cas actually smiles at him. Sam resists the urge to punch him.

The next time Sam says his name, Cas gets so pissed he ends up slamming Sam against the wall, which leads to rather interesting things. It ends when Sam moans Castiel into his mouth without thinking. Cas is gone in the most indignant flap of wings imaginable and Sam pinches the bridge of his nose.

Dean doesn't comment when Sam spends the next few days muttering, "Castiel. Castiel. Castiel. Castiel." Sam is grateful.

When Cas drops in next, Sam gives him a wide smile and says, "Hello, Castiel."

Cas' mouth opens reflexively, his brow drawn in preemptive annoyance, but it snaps shut quickly and a confused expression takes over his face. Then a content grin settles on his mouth and he sits next to Sam companionably.

Sam is ashamed to say that he is probably more proud of this than anything else he's ever done.